I've given the go-ahead for the digger @NatureLover . It might be next week. It's a big expense but it's time for a change. 

Trying to alter your attitude is a big step. Huge. I'm not sure how you  avoid setbacks and disappointments except through what I think is called radical acceptance. I hope your psychologist can support you through it.

I'm feeling I need to change my outlook too, and move on now I've had the 3 surgeries in 6 months. I have to adjust to a new normal too, recognising my limitations and doing my best with what I have.