thanks @Former-Member  "tantrum" was a word I came up with to describe to others as best I could what he was like without knowing it was a proper, referenced term - but looking at the bubbles he is definitely in meltdown. One of his main triggers is not being able to find something but that often brings on an avalanch of past grievances that simmer away in the background all the time.

He particulary "will not bargain"  - will not accept help, suggestions or compromise. His demands are completely irrational and most times unachievable. He often doesn't remember what he has said and done once it's over.

But time limited? He has a lot more stamina for this than I do.

I want my boundary to be permission to walk away or disengage from the conversation once we get stuck in the meltdown loop. At this stage that just makes him angrier. Something we both need to work on.