Lived Experience Forum

[Sabriel]

Hey 👋, I'm new to the threads and look forward to healing within the group.

I have depression and anxiety and have had it most of my life. I have been through a great deal of trauma both in my youth and throughout my life.  I have just moved out into temporary accommodation ( which I've never had to do before) as my partnered relationship with a schizophrenic has broken down. My partner is medicated and generally sticks with them although tends to drink alcohol, and as a result of that (among other things) over the relationship, it has caused further trauma to myself.

I moved away from all I knew to be with my partner only to find myself struggling to find my way, isolated from family and friends and feeling very alone.

I am trying to understand schizophrenia and have been very accommodating to the needs of my partner unfortunately to my own detriment, as my mental health has taken a big hit...

Is there hope?

Do I cut my losses and run??

[Jynx]

Hey @Sabriel welcome to the forums, hope you find it to be a warm n welcoming community. 

Sounds like you've made some sacrifices for your partner and you're wanting to be supportive and caring, but it's also meant you've been unable to properly attend to your own needs. I can't tell you whether you should stay or leave, but perhaps reflecting on the sustainability of the relationship could help, as well as whether there's some other ways to find balance, and get your needs met. 

Do you have much external support, like a psych or supportive GP?

[Asgard]

Hi @Sabriel 

Welcome to the forums, it is full of very genuine people who care.  You are dealing with a lot at the moment, not only with your own MH issues but that of your partner.  I really think that to help others we need to look after ourselves first.  You seem to have put the needs of your partner first for a long while, but now I think you need to concentrate on what your needs are.  You can only help people so much, eventually they must take control of their own lives.

So focus on you, reconnect with family and friends, and do stuff that makes you happy.

Take care

Asgard

[HelloKitty1981]

@Sabriel like other peers have said it really comes down how this or any relationship effects you as a person? You can love someone and they love you but together it might just not be the right fit for you both and understanding those things comes with age, experiences in other relationships and with life in general. 

No relationship is ever going to be perfect and everyone has some sort of baggage they are carrying in some way. Only you can make decisions on your own life, health and happiness.

I would seek out services like a gp, headstart, mental health services in your local area to work on helping yourself first as you can't help someone else if your not ok yourself and by your post it seems things with this partnership have been triggers for you.

It's ok to reach out to family and friends you moved away from and go, hey I need some support without judgement. As someone who also lives a life with depression and anxiety, being isolated can make both of these issues more intense and cause significant impairment of ones own life and happiness.

Some time apart to work on you, and your partner work on themselves and their own health is totally ok and does'nt have to mean the end of the relationship if thats what you both want but for now perhaps the relationship needs to go on hold till after you are both are in better places mentally and emotionally and have support systems in place for you both, then come back to decisions on being partners.

But if u already feel that you shouldn't be in a relationship with this person and your gut is telling you the same then you have the right to go ok, I tried and I don't choose this for my life. It does'nt have to be a mutual decision.

Breakup's suck, hurt and are hard to do and go through whether your the one doing the breaking up or the other person being broken up with. 

Whatever way you decide to go your life with still continue moving forward.