I find the so-called 'mentally ill' so often the only place I can find people who are more than skin deep, who actually think intelligently, and feel, and consider others.
@Appleblossom, are you saying that your birth family was encumbered with shame, rejection, poverty and pain? I hadn't previously concluded that, but if so, so was mine. Broken people. It destroys self-respect and dignity, and the desire to belong to it. I tried to make something of myself, to not accept that being a 'loser' was my lot in life.
In my brother's e-mails of last year, he said that I 'lived in an ivory tower' and always thought myself better. Better than a broken loser in a family of broken losers? I am better, and so are they! I aspired to being better than a loser! And I went through hell to achieve it while my birth family went from bad to worse. I have achieved what I wanted to share with all of them and help them to achieve, but they don't want me. They are comfortable as losers. They are unchallenged, avoid responsibilities, and life hurts but it's better than trying to work through the mess of our family for them, apparently. Three sibs who don't speak to each other or to their own children. They've dropped down the social ladder and allowed our detractors to get away with our destruction. We relate like oil and water. And how I miss them all, and that innate sense of belonging. What can I say?
