Lived Experience Forum

[RoseBlue]

Hey all..

Not to be a downer but..

You can get all the help & support in the world yet nothing in your life actually changes.

Life is still hard.

You still have no family, partner or ppl to be there when you're lonely.. as in person and intimately like they know who you are in person, have shared your life or want to share your life and care from that basis.

46 years been trying at this life thing and I still feel I want to escape. 

Nothing feels good.

Nothing feels like there's a promising future.

Not suicidal just saying.. maybe sometimes in life.. nothing changes for some ppl?

Life will always be hard and nothing ever works out.

What should we do?

[tyme]

Hey hun @RoseBlue .

I'm sorry it sounds like a revolving door of nothingness. I hear it seems like life is just too tiring at times and you feel quite lonely.

I have to agree that life is certainly hard. I can relate to that. As though everything is just a lot of effort.

How do you spend your days?

What does an ideal life look like for you?

I hear you said you don't want to be a 'downer', yet I hear this is what you are feeling and your feelings are valid.

Good on you for reaching out in the first place. This may be the beginning of once again feeling a sense of care, belonging and trust.

We are here for you. You are not alone in feeling this way.

[RoseBlue]

• Ty @tyme 💓 
  Love your name & prof pic also.. very valid in this life..
  Time is everything really.. how we feel about it & what we do with it.. Ty for your response.
  I feel I'm getting more melancholic as I get older though I've always been "deep".. yet getting more so! Wish I was different.. more superficial but I cannot change who or what I am.. othertimes I'm glad I'm not like everyone else.
  Life is harder for ppl that are deep yet also more meaningful and full of more growth.. I guess.
  Though I do wish sometimes I wouldn't take it all too seriously.
  I can also be the lightest most fun person in the room.. but yes I do get stressed as there's so many things in life we cannot control and so many things I wish turned out differently yet no matter what I did they slipped away from me and almost tore me apart 💔

[tyme]

I chose the name "tyme" because I recognise that time doesn't discriminate. It is inclusive of all people no matter their age, stage, status etc.

At the same time, my real name has something to do with "thyme"... 

Hence I chose to go-between and chose "tyme". @RoseBlue 

With life, I'm hearing you. 

I'm certainly the square peg in the round whole. I used to get depressed over this because I felt I couldn't fit-in. Nowadays, I really don't care. I'm more than satisfied to be the 'odd' one, and I sort of even celebrate my oddness by myself... lol. How odd is that?

With socialising, I have to say I don't like it. I get so nervous and antsy... however, people around would have no idea. They think I'm a social butterfly.

I think I've come to the point where I've accepted the things I cannot change. I strived to go against all these things, but realised (after 20 years), that I'd only just fail. Nowadays, I just move on in life. I have a 'Meh?' attitude. If things work, then good, if not, then that's also good.

I've lost too many years fighting against the things I can't change.

Since letting go, I think I'm in a much better place. I simply don't have the energy to fight for things anymore, so I just accept them. Doesn't mean I agree. But it means I don't let it get to me.

This is the stage I am at the moment in life. Who knows if this will change in the future?

[RoseBlue]

• Ty for your response and love the choice behind your name...

I love anything philosophical and also all inclusive of anyone & anything..

Unless others get hurt of course.

Life yes I know I should care less but when at work everyone laughing, joking & enjoying their day it's hard not to feel really lonely, left out & not belonging.

It's not intentional.. they're not being deliberately mean

Ppl just find me strange as I am deep I guess & they can sense I can see & feel beyond the human behaviour or "ego" though I could join in if they let me.. i can't help that I am intuitive and see souls and not just ppl.. it's just so isolating and yes makes me feel down & depressed at times as I just want to feel like I'm one of them.

I get enjoyment out of my job & other ppl/"customers" yet my colleagues make me feel like I'm not one of "them" yet I don't blame them as I know I'm just different and I can make ppl feel awkward though I don't mean to :(((

[Tilz]

@RoseBlue  Its true. But i think life can change at anytime. It want be constant for long. May be it took  46 years to show you how hard was it to reach the beautiful 47 th and onwards. So lets hope for best. 

[BossBaby]

Hi @RoseBlue , I feel like there's so many directions this conversation could take but because I'm sort of having a health crisis and on some unpaid leave at the moment I thought I might just post an article on the drama triangle. I don't know if just posting an article is worse than not posting anything personal or more enquiry-driven and not sure if it will be relevant or helpful but the tone of your post reminded me of the drama triangle and the article is about how to escape that sense or portrayal of powerlessness. The victim becomes a creator, the persecutor becomes a challenger and the rescuer becomes a coach. I haven't looked into it much myself yet as I am still at the point in life where I'm putting some trust or faith in the hierarchy or order of things as having intrinsic value and authority and that place-finding/ place-holding in my own and others' stories is still worthwhile. All the best with your search.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/remyblumenfeld/2018/12/07/how-to-transform-your-relationships-by-gettin...

[RoseBlue]

I don't hope any more but don't do the opposite either.. keep expectations at a minimal but still try and enjoy the little things in every day and know life is temporary and realise we don't all get everything we want and maybe that's for the best?

Not all of us are meant to have easy happy lives and there may be a bigger purpose or reason for that...

[RoseBlue]

I know all about the Drama Triangle but ty for reminding me of it.

I don't believe I'm a Victim as such.. just some of us are meant for harder lives. 

It's not all a walk in the park for all of us and I don't believe 100% law of attraction either.. that doesn't explain everything.. why explain all tragedies like ppl "attracted " domestic violence or murder?

Some things require deeper thought and not all roses and light... I keep my mind open

No way do I believe all victims of violence or pain were just on the Drama Triangle attracting victim-hood.. there must be other explanations.  Life is complicated 

[tyme]

Yeah, life can be complicated @RoseBlue . I don't get it either. 

For me, I have very low expectations of people. I found that that kept me SANE. So when people actually do what they are told, I get a little 'surprise' out of it lol.... sad, but it works. Keeps me in a good place with people.

@BossBaby @Tilz - I believe the above two responses were for you.