My Mosaic

[Jynx]

Sounds like it was a challenging appointment - perhaps because you expected to be given up on. That's not a nice feeling at all, and yet when she didn't give up on you, maybe that hurt too because it doesn't match your internal view of yourself. 

I can really hear that part of you wants to give up on yourself right now. But you are so far from being a waste of time, for any that are supporting you. Being there for others is its own reward. 

Is there one simple, nice thing you can do for yourself tonight @Bow?

[Bow]

Challenging because it's all basically been taken out of my hands. She asked for some input from me, but she is then going to make the decisions around what I eat. It feels like so much bloody food. Even the tiniest of things that I have outside of what I feel is safe and ok at the moment, ie: breakfast and dinner, makes me feel absolutely horrible. Makes me feel so overwhelmed. She's gonna have me eating 3 meals and 3 snacks. How can I do that????? I can't. I can't do it. Might as well just quit now 

[Jynx]

@Bow it definitely is really hard to feel like it's out of your hands. Ultimately it is your body, and your choice, be it choosing to follow her plan or not. Big changes like this can only happen with little steps over time (which is frustrating far more often than it is reassuring... I know).

I hope it helps, even the teensiest amount, knowing that we all believe in you to be able to do this! 

[Bow]

I'm not worth it I'm really not I'll go I'm really sorry 

sorry

[Jynx]

That is okay @Bow, do what you need to do. Hope you can find something distracting/soothing to help - and in my mind you are always worth my time, whether you agree or not 

[Emelia8]

@Bow 😔💝

Hi there @Jynx 👋

[Jynx]

@Emelia8  Hiya  Lovely to see you!

[Shaz51]

hugs my @Bow , sitting with you my darling xoxo

[Bow]

Some days are just down right harder than others. When the noise inside my head is louder and angrier. When the hatred I feel towards myself compares to nothing else. When the darkness is all consuming and is desperate to take over. When I just want the world to swallow me up and disappear. Nothing matters on those days. Caring doesn't exist. Si is scary. Continuing feels really hard. 

today is one of them days. 

[Anastasia]

@Bow 👂

Your mind is being very cruel to you right now it would seem... You deserve support, and compassion, and kindness, even if your mind is telling you that you don't.

I'll sit with you a while ❣️Bow ❣️