Share a cuppa?

[Dimity]

Hello @Abner tricky that.  I hear you're being complimentary but defining someone by their relational roles might not always be welcome. 

What music will you be listening to in Holy Week?

[Abner]

The thing is her previous marriage was a disastrous, he treated her more like the enemy than a wife and partner.

She asked me "Do you think I was his wife?" to which i replied ""It's what you think that matters, not anyone else. He treated you like the enemy rather than a wife or partner. I'm just saying you're very loving.". She's ok with that.

[Abner]

I know @Dimity, but relationship positions, or even role playing of any sort doesn't define people. Sometimes I wish people would realise that people are people whereas language is merely a convenient way to communicate. If we didn't have the word "chair" we'd have to say "something with four legs that you sit on", or"someone who's heading a meeting". Words don't define people, people define words.

[Dimity]

@Abner coincidentally today I stumbled across speech act theory... I heard it mentioned in an RN program. I think what you were implying was, as you said, she's a loving person. And that that matters to you. 

I wouldn't try to over-analyse it, but I'd take care not to inadvertently offend her.

[Abner]

I understand your meaning, @Dimity ,but I didn't offend her inadvertently or advertently. This was simply a situation in which her interpretation of a word wasn't agreeable to her. I'm careful with my communication with people, but I won't tiptoe on eggshells for anyone.
People have used extreme hate language on me and I survived it. When communicating with people someone's going to get upset that you said they're a brunette. People said I was a sex offender, and I didn't even feel safe enough to respond to them for well over a decade, and I had to take the distress that put me through. My feeling is if I can take that kind of long-term distress, then we can all take a bit of being upset...AND it'll be good for us to do so.. Communicate yes, walk on eggshells no.

[tyme]

Hi @Abner  🙂

So good to see you! Long time no see.

[Abner]

I hasten to add I'm not upset with you @Dimity, I get your point, and I hope you're not feeling upset by that post, the language may sound a bit strong, but that's not my intention at all.

[tonys]

Well   @LeChuck   don't know if you got the other post but,   the swans got mauled by Melbourne,  i gather so if you dont hear from me,   the pickers have shoved me into the spin dryer.   over and out     tonys   m b  1      Hope your lot did better. . . 

[tyme]

Hi there @tonys @Bow @Dimity @Oaktree @mr-robot-75 @Shaz51 

I feel like I haven't had a cuppa with you all in a long time. How's everyone doing?

[Bow]

Hey @tyme  ive just finished an iced chai. 

how was your day?