This may be triggering

[Former-Member]

So feeling really stupid right now and small but pretty much tried opening up to a family member about my si thoughts and stuff any way they completely dismissed it saying I'm just looking for attention because you apparently can't be si and afraid of death this statement is only half true I am not afraid of dying im afraid of it being painful hence the plan I had been ready to carry out did not involve pain and now said family member has told rest of family and now I'm just trying to create drama or making up stuff to try and compete with others situations. I told the one person I'm closest to in my family and thought I could trust now i feel really alone I still have my partner and son and 3 amazing friends but if I can't trust the family I grew up with how do I trust anybody else. I feel like I'm burdening those who care and lost faith in those that are suppose to

[outlander]

hi @Former-Member

it sounds really hard for you atm, im sorry the person you had trusted has broken that however do you think perhaps they are concerned about you and didnt know what to do so had told others about your plans...

[outlander]

are you safe right now?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I'm sorry to hear about your experience today. It can be so difficult to put yourself out there like that, whatever the response.

Like @outlander, I am wondering if you are safe right now. I have also sent you an email to check in.

Please remember that if you are finding it difficult to stay safe, there are services available to talk it through and help you:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat
Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling
Samaritans: 135 247

And please keep posting.

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member and @outlander,

I'm safe as in I am not alone, and no I don't think they did it out of worry I think they did it out of spite

[outlander]

did you want to talk about what is happening for you to be in distress? @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

@outlander, to be honest I distressed about alot of things and apart from one each thing on its own is not a big problem but combined it's tipped me over the edge and I am having trouble finding my feet 

[outlander]

I understand that @Former-Member it can be hard when everything just piles up.
Is there one thing you can work on to problem solve and get a handle on?
Slow and steady just working things out one by one can be helpful.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member,

It sounds like an incredibly hurtful thing to happen when you confided in someone you trusted about your suicidal thoughts. I'm very sorry that happened to you, it's very understandable you are distressed. 

I have sent another email to check in as you mentioned again that you 'can't go on'. Is it still the case that you feel safe due to being with people? 

If not would you be able to contact one of the services below: 

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

If in immediate danger: 000

Take care,

Tortoiseshell

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member, @outlander, @Former-Member

Its not that I feel safe its that I won't try anything while around my son (literally the only reason) i keep him close because he keeps me going by being there. When he is at school I don't let myself be alone.

My partner and house mate control my meds keeping them locked away so I can't do something if I do get left alone.

But realistically I do not feel safe I just have help making sure I don't give myself the opportunity