A Life of Trauma and Tragedy (Possibly Triggering Content)

[Appleblossom]

Dont apologise for prattling on. I really enjoy hearing from you. @Emelia8 Your long post brought up feelings in me.  Feelings of mixed loyalties.  I always was upset that I could not do more for my siblings, but I was in the midst of raising small children. Later, We had 2 cancer diagnoses close together in family, my mother in Vic and brother in NSW.  Memories of my mother's days with cancer.  Simple and sad but good nostalgia, not triggering. We made music together every fortnight in her palliative period. Others in the hospice enjoyed it too. Mum on piano and I played recorder, til the last few weeks. 

I wrap up in winter in the house. Dont be hard on yourself, for what was not possible. It is becoming more common again as people are conscious of lowering consumption of fossil fuels.  I was feeling a little weird, but 2 well to do piano students do it. I now prepare for it, and spent last winter fairly comfortable, whereas before I let myself get cold. There is a dignity and having one's own space and doing it one's own way. Love the sound of her as a feisty Irish lady.  Treasure your memories, she obviously did not want you to worry.  You have a similar journey, so let her be a warm guiding companion in spirit.

[Former-Member]

Your psychologist might know by Wednesday @Emelia Maybe ask her receptionist to make some enquiries (((((hugz)))))

[Bunniekins]

@Emelia8  I am here sweetheart. You are not alone. Your forum family are here. Sometimes all I can muster is a thumbs up because my emotions are overwhelmed but I am not going anywhere. You can count on the pea. Love you.peaxxx

[Meowmy]

@Emelia8 hey sweetheart, so sorry for all your sufferings. Prayers for you.  Take good care. 

[WIP]

Hi @Emelia8 

Thinking of you.

I don't have many words for you at the moment, as some of what you posted reminds me of how I felt/feel after I lost my Dad last year. I understand where you're coming from.

I really hope you get something out of your psychologist appt later this week. You've got us all here supporting you too. ❣️❣️

WIP 

[Snowie]

@Emelia8 💕💕💕Sitting with you today hon 

[Emelia8]

Dear @Appleblossom ... thank you. I am sorry my post exposed some feelings of mixed loyalties and other issues for you. It sounds like it was a difficult time for you back then. I do have some very fond memories of happy times with my Mum. Sadly though, right now its those awful final weeks of her life that are dominating my memories right now. And my regrets over her situation, that I was unable to change. You are right too, in that she never wanted me to worry about her. I think she would be devastated now, if she knew that I'm about to follow her own path. I hope your sadness over the loss of your cat Patches, is dominating your thoughts today.

Hi @Former-Member ... yes I will certainly speak to my psychologist tomorrow about the possibility of accessing any additional Medicare funded MHCP visits. I finally found something on line, which seems to indicate that an additional 10x visits are accessible to anyone already on a MHCP. So I hope thats right. I was going to post it here for everyones info, but it was a long word doc format, which I was unable to post here. How are you today EOR?

@Bunniekins... thank you so much. Your post is very reassuring. Yes my forum family are here for me. And you dear Pea, are someone I have always been able to rely upon to be there for me whenever I need you. Dont worry about just hitting the support button at times. Thats enough to let me know that I have been heard, that someone is there for me, and that I'm not as alone as I often feel. I can and do count on you sweet Pea. Love you too.

@Meowmy... thank you very much for your thoughts and your prayers. I hope you are taking good care of yourself too. How is work going this week?

@WIP... I'm sorry my post reminded you of the difficult time for you after losing your Dad last year. Thank you so much for your ongoing support. I was happy to read that your appointment with your new psychologist went pretty well last week. I gather it was mostly a bit of a getting to know you chat as a first appointment. When do you get to see them again?

@Snowie... thank you so much. I have imagined you sitting with me through the day. Its been good, because my anxiety has been very high and I am full of questions, fears and 'what-ifs' today.

I see my psychologist tomorrow morning at 9am. And my GP on Thursday at 11.30am for referrals to specialists. Hopefully after that I can start to make a bit more of a plan going forward. I found out today that my local hospital definitely does not do radiation therapy. Which means I will have to travel either to where I had all the tests a couple of weeks ago (2 hours away) or else another regional town an hours drive away. Doing that 5 days a week is going to be a major drain, especially as the therapy causes extreme fatigue in most instances. Not looking forward to that.

Oh well

Emelia 🌺😔🐶

[Bunniekins]

@Emelia8  Hey sweetheart hearing you and your frustration and worries. Sending you love my dear friend. peaxxx

[WIP]

Dear @Emelia8 

No need for an apology. I'm still working through losing my father.  Was a difficult time & is still raw.

Yes, my first psychologist appt went well thank you. An information dump of my 'issues' really. I was a bit emotional for a few days afterwards, but that's to be expected after talking about difficult things. I'm going to see her (via video) every Thursday for the next foreseeable future.

I do think of you often and hope you are doing as best you can with everything you've got on your plate. Life just sucks sometimes! But, we have to find a way to muddlle through best we can. The support you have here on the forums would be a great help I imagine.

💕💕

[BlueBay]

Dear @Emelia8 

you have so much to think of and go through.  Is there any way you can get some assistance for someone to drive you for your treatment?

I always think of you and really feel for you.  I am sorry i haven't been on here to support you as often as i would like to.

But i do care.

xxxooo