Hi All
I'm new to this site. I wonder if anyone can offer me some advice as I'm feeling very lost. I suffer from anxiety but I've been medication free for about a year and I had been coping quite well ... I'm a single mum to two daughters ages 13 and 15. They're good kids ... I can't complain. I'm self employed as a real estate agent.
Last November I met a really lovely man - age 60 (I'm 52). He really chased me and seemed very ready for a relationship even though he had been single for 18 years. He's a very talented musician. He provided entertainment at a work Christmas function - I asked him at the time if he was available to perform at a party I was putting on ... he wasn't but he asked me to text him my phone number in case he had a cancellation. I naively did as he asked. About a week or so later, I received a text message from him and we began communicating. Text messages turned to phone calls and then a meeting. He seemed like a good guy and I liked him.
We dated for 3 months and he made me feel mostly wonderful. I did notice that he had a bit of a temper at times and could snap for no reasons but I seemed to handle those moods. Initially, he seemed to get by on very little sleep and just wanted to keep doing stuff and seemed to almost "bounce off walls". He was a lot of fun and he was caring and loving. He did tell me very quickly that he loved me but I felt safe with him and I responded favourably. He had a big ego but I thought that came part and parcel of being a musician. He would tell me about all the girls that were chasing him (although recently he told me there's no girls chasing him).
On our 3rd month anniversary, everything changed. We had a few words ... nothing major ... and he decided he couldn't be with me anymore and he up and left. For the last 3 weeks, we've seen each other off and on and I thought that maybe we were going to be able to get things back on track but he has decided that he no longer feels for me the same sort of love that he had and he no longer wants to be in a relationship with me.
I don't know if this guy is bipolar but I expect he is. I think that maybe when I met him he was in a mania state which explains his hyper activity and need for our relationship to work (we were going to grow old together, we had to make things work as there were kids involved (my kids ages 13 and 15) and it went on and on. I bought into the dream. I thought he was the one. Up until the moment he broke up with me, I had no reason to believe that he would end things.
From what I've read, this seems a common occurrence with bipolar type people. I'm not sure why he decided to give relationships a go after all this time as he clearly has major issues with them. Why are they like this? Whilst I expect he's manic now (low), he doesn't appear depressed, however, he seems certain that he wants nothing further to do with me from a romantic level. I am gutted and I don't get it. He won't talk about it and when I text him trying to seek answers, he closes down even more.
Whilst in the relationship, my then boyfriend displayed some other curious symptoms ... he would fall sleep whilst in conversation with people ... just fall asleep while they'd be talking. He would also dream a lot and would speak about "monsters" watching him in his sleep ... they were always there apparently. He would often talk in his sleep. He also had a knack for saying inappropriate things at time which would throw me. His stories would change from each person to each person or even to the same person ... he never told the same story in the same way and I question just how many of his stories were true. Is this a normal part of being bipolar?
I am totally confused and hope that someone can give me further insight as I'm at a loss as I really did like this person. I am not acquainted with bipolar but I wonder whether anyone resonates with my story and can shine a light on things for me. I'm not sure if this is the right place to post or if I'm even on the right sort of site but I'm a bit desperate for answers and I feel all those old anxious feelings rearing their head.
