I'm upset with this AGED CARE REPORT all over the media atm. It resurfaces all the family conflict around my dad and of cause his unhappy passing in that horrible place. He was so happy at home with me and his allied health team. I don't know where I went wrong there, how better to manage my siblings through all that or why they were so determined to get him into s nursing home. I've worked in those places, why wouldn't they listen to me? Why is supporting one another so difficult in some families?
Just because someone has had a breakdown years before doesn't mean they can't manage a household. I've had to by myself through the thick of it, without the amazing dva support systems dad had in place at home. He was so angry with me when I wasn't allowed to bring him home from respite. My head was spinning. To pull this off my bro2 falsely represented me which is why NCAT took over everything, and why the nursing home were horrible. Nobody knows what to believe so they shut out everyone. Poor dad. My younger sibs had no idea what wheels they set in motion, think they do now. Poor dad. My MH did decline under all the emotional abuse, like family court - the impact on the caregivers is irrelevant, which is why I left town, got away from them all, the ongoing emotional abuse... to try hold my own better. I feel bad for dad that I had to. I'm told the others hardly ever visited him, the pandemic didn't help. Untrained nurses not eeding list ending to family (me) a recipe for disaster, not sitting him up in bed no doubt contributed to his repeated aspiration pneumonia and inevitable stroke that took him out. I hate them. I hate myself for being so powerless in the situation. So lack the ability to move people... I just run away, alone. Oh God help my unbelief 😭
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so sorry FatherGod, my earth dad, my girl, my younger siblings, my son... please forgive my unbelief, my mistakes, and God plz bring me back to the here-and-now today. It's all I have left. I love goodness and nature and colour and light and pups and birds ... and grateful. Please wipe away the tears, the dark thoughts, help me rest in you. Give my dad, my mum, my nan and my girl a hug there for me. I don't know what else to do this day. 🙏
