My Mosaic

[tyme]

Monday morning @Bow  Next week @Bow . 

I don't feel prepared AT all, but I'm also not really fussed.

Are you okay? It sounds so hard tonight.

[Bow]

You got a week to get organized then @tyme  depends where your going really…. If ya can get anything you forget wherever you’re going, then all you need is your essentials. 

no. I’m not. Far from it

[tyme]

I'm far from ready @Bow .  I'm going to be a minimalist and travel light. I don't like taking too much anywhere.

I'm sorry that things are so hard. Is it the house issue? Thoughts? I'm here for you.

[Bow]

Best get started then @tyme  i always start with a list and an open suitcase. 

There has been a lot of thoughts that won’t stop, that won’t be quiet. Almost gives me a headache. I then get very overwhelmed with all the questions. The decisions that need to be made. I just don’t have capacity in my already exploding brain. It is absolutely exhausting 

[tyme]

Yes, I'll have to get started @Bow but I feel it's going to be a last moment thing - again lol.

I'm sorry all those questions are being fired at you. I get so frustrated and everything becomes bothersome. I've been grouchy all weekend. Today, I kept stepping on the kids' toys so I pick one up and through it across the room and told the kids to clean up. 

Let it out on your pillow?

Hugs @Bow 

[Bow]

Not sure a pillow will be sufficient @tyme 

and I have a gp appointment in the morning and she will ask me more questions and I can’t tell her to shut up

[tyme]

What about, "I really don't think I can speak about this now?"

Is that something you can say @Bow ?

Sorry it's so hard hun. I thought people at home were asking you questions and you wanted to get away from it all.

[Bow]

Oh no it is most definitely people at home asking a million questions @tyme  that has been constant the last couple of days. But today it has pushed me over the edge. 

just anticipating the questions tomorrow from my gp and how it’s gonna make me feel. my gp is a bit extra like that. Maybe I can say that…. I don’t know. 

been reading elsewhere… your emergency services siren thingy….. they trigger me big time too. They send me into a panic. 

[tyme]

Yes! The kiddos here have been suppppper annoying! I've been so so short with them, that I kindda feel bad. @Bow 

Is this the GP who is very good? How often do you see this GP? I'm thinking assertiveness is important. Allow them to nudge a bit, but not too much so they push you over the edge.

And yes, sirens are a huge trigger for me. Even now, when I'm driving, I get a little spike in heart rate. So each time this happens, I know I need to go back to exposure therapy by either watching Paramedics or Highway Patrol. It sounds stupid, but it works for me. 

[Bow]

Yep this is my gp… the good one @tyme  she is just very thorough. Likes to make sure she is up to date and covers all bases. I still haven’t made a physio appointment. I should do that first thing in the morning so when she asks I can say I’ve done it. Urgh there were other phone calls I was suppose to make too and I haven’t. I hate being on the phone. Was suppose to cut my fluids back to 3lts a day… I haven’t. 

I panic with sirens. Look around to try and see where it is. Who it is. I panic about what I’ve said to someone even though I might not of spoken to anyone for ages, I’m still certain I’ve said something to make someone call them. Never thought of watching them to see if it helps.